


is it condescending (to be so scared i might hurt you)

by ivyalexandrias



Series: i'm chilled by the redundancy of thoughts collected (but not kept) [2]
Category: Everyman HYBRID
Genre: Drinking, Gen, Guilt, I FORGOT TO TAG STEPH!!!, Lies, Light Angst, Nightmares, OSHSKDJ the jeff and habit friendship tag doesnt even exist, i do not care enough, i dont care., okay i know everyones ooc BUT theres a reason for it!!!, shes only here for like 5 seconds but i love her, thats the reason, this is self indulgent, ❤️❤️
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26020282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivyalexandrias/pseuds/ivyalexandrias
Summary: They all have hard days, and Evan would give his life in an instant if it meant he could take them all away, give his friends the peace they deserve, but he can't. Instead, he just has to do his best to help them when he can.
Relationships: Evan & Jeff (Everyman HYBRID), HABIT & Jeff (Everyman HYBRID)
Series: i'm chilled by the redundancy of thoughts collected (but not kept) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887127
Kudos: 10





	is it condescending (to be so scared i might hurt you)

**Author's Note:**

> this series isnt gonna b super linear but im trying to get the "evan tells everyone else that habits alive" fics out of the way before i write anything else otherwise ill never remember to write them :/  
> vinny is next then i can finally write wtvr i want for this 'verse >:3

As usual, it's Habit that wakes him in the middle of the night. He sighs, ready to retreat into his corner of the headspace, but Habit stops him.

_ Jeff's up. Nightmares again. You're best at talking him down.  _ Habit murmurs, and Evan tilts his head. Sure enough, he can hear the quiet creak of the floorboards as Jeff paces back and forth in his room.

Carefully, he slips out of bed, creeping down the hallway. Jeff's voice leaks from a crack in the door, mumbling something to himself. Quietly, Evan knocks on the doorframe, and Jeff goes silent.

"It's me." He says, the words sounding too loud, too disruptive in the early morning quiet. Jeff's quiet for a moment longer, before Evan hears him walk across the room, opening the door.

Jeff looks sickly, the bags under his eyes accentuated by how pale his skin is. "Can I come in?" He asks quietly, and Jeff blinks at him for a moment, before shaking himself, stepping back. 

"Y-yeah. Yeah. Okay. How did you know I was up?" Evan flounders for a moment, since 'the demon possessing me, yes, the same one who tormented us for years, heard you wake up and told me to check on you' probably wouldn't go over too well. 

After a moment, he settles on "I was up too." Jeff doesn't seem to question it, instead going to sit on the edge of his bed, curling in on himself. Evan sits next to him awkwardly.

"You- ah… wanna talk 'bout it?" Jeff lifts his head to stare at him for a moment, before shaking his head. Evan just nods. He might get Jeff to tell him later, but he learned the hard way long ago that pushing it would just get Jeff to retreat further into his shell. Instead, Evan just wraps an arm around his shoulders, offering his presence, if nothing else.

Jeff goes stiff for a moment, then he's turning, flinging himself into Evan's arms. 

"I dreamt that Habit was back." He mumbles into Evan's shoulder, and the other man sucks in a sharp breath. Jeff doesn't seem to notice, continuing on, even though he doesn't lift his head from Evan's shoulder.

"He was back, and none of us noticed until it was too late and… he was… he was killing me again." Evan's heart aches, and he feels Habit in the back of his mind, a mess of indecision, and… something that feels suspiciously like regret. He does the mental equivalent of punching the demon in the shoulder, murmuring "It's okay.", both to the man in his arms, and the demon in his head. 

He carefully leans back, until him and Jeff are both laying on the bed. Almost on instinct, Evan exaggerates his breathing, so Jeff can clearly feel his chest rise and fall, and the other man automatically matches his breaths to Evan's. 

It was something Evan had started doing long ago, as a way to calm Jeff down after a panic attack. Eventually, it became more of a grounding technique. Letting them  _ both  _ know that they were there, and safe, and everything was okay.

Jeff's hand goes up to comb though Evan's hair, mussing it further. The two of them stay like that for a moment, Jeff sprawled out on top of Evan, their breathing in sync.

Evan desperately tries to ignore the guilt simmering in his chest, instead just choosing to stay where he is, enjoying Jeff's presence. The two of them eventually fell asleep like that, tangled together, like they used to long ago.

-

Evan takes a long drink of whiskey, barely noticing the burn in his throat. He doesn't really care about anything other than getting drunk right now. For once, Habit is quiet, although he'd almost prefer his sarcastic commentary to the deafening silence ringing in his ears.

The door to the house creaks open, and Steph sits down next to him on the front steps. He offers her the bottle, but she shakes her head.

"I've been trying to drink less." 

"Oh," He replies, then, "Sorry."

"'S fine." She murmurs, and they sit in comfortable silence for a moment before she speaks up again.

"Any particular reason you're getting drunk at 8pm on a Thursday?" Her tone is light, but Evan can still hear the concern in her voice, and he sighs.

"Jeff's been having nightmares." She cocks her head at him, not making the connection, but he ignores her.

"He's been dreamin' that Habit is still alive. That he's possessin' me again." Steph's mouth opens in a silent ' _ o _ ', and her soft "Oh, Ev." is almost too much to handle. 

"What if I made a mistake, Stephie? What if I fucked it all up, and he's gonna hate me, or somethin'?" His voice trembles, and he sighs, taking another drink. Steph's quiet for a moment.

"I think… I think he couldn't hate you if he tried. He might be pissed as hell when he finds out, sure, but he won't hate you for it, Ev." She sounds sure of herself, but Evan can't help but doubt it. 

"...Hate you for what?" Evan chokes on his whiskey, turning to face Jeff, who had apparently come out onto the porch at some point. Steph claps her hands, standing up. 

"Alright, you two can talk it out, I'm gonna go take a nap." She pats Evan on the shoulder, and disappears inside before he can protest. Jeff frowns at him, confused, and Evan sighs.

"It's- um… sit down." Jeff cautiously sits on the steps next to him, and Evan sighs.

"Okay, so… you know how you've uh- been having nightmares about Habit being alive?" Jeff furrows his brows, nodding slowly. Evan sucks in a deep breath, before unceremoniously shoving Habit to the front. He can deal with this, Evan doesn't have the mental capacity right now.

Jeff must notice something, whether it's the subtle shift from blue to purple in his eyes, or the way Habit holds himself, or something else, because he nearly falls off the steps as he scrambles away. On instinct, Habit grabs his arm, yanking him back before he goes off the edge, but it doesn't really help. 

"What the fuck!?" He gets out, breathing hard. Habit spreads his hands placatingly.

"I'm not gonna hurt ya, Jeff." The other man laughs dryly, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, like I buy that shit for a  _ second _ . What the hell are you doing here?" 

"Evan made a deal." Habit's voice is calm, and he carefully tries to scoot closer to Jeff, still keeping his hands spread. "In exchange for me protecting you dumbases, he let me use 'im as a vessel. Trust me, I dunno why he did it either, but he did."

Jeff still seems suspicious, with good reason, but Habit presses on.

"C'mon, would I lie to you?" He pauses for a long moment, and cuts Jeff off as the other man goes to respond.

"Actually, don't answer that." Jeff snorts, running a hand through his hair. His breathing has calmed slightly, but he's still extremely on edge, and leaning away from the demon.

Habit sighs, not really sure what to do with his hands. "Listen, Koval. I don't really expect you to trust me right away, I'd be concerned if you did, honestly, but can you at least give me a chance? For all my… mistakes, you should at least know I don't go back on deals, right? I won't hurt any of ya. Swear on my life." He holds out the bottle of whiskey, a peace offering of sorts.

Jeff eyes him for a long moment, before carefully accepting the bottle, taking a long drink from it. Habit grins at him, baring sharp teeth, and Jeff hesitantly smiles back. He still looks a  _ little  _ uncomfortable, but that's… pretty understandable.

Habit'll figure out some way to get Evan back for making him handle this at some point.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i know jeff is ooc in this but. i dont care :)  
> title from "song for a guilty sadist" by crywank. it has huge evan vibes go listen to it :')


End file.
